[

feeling

|

I have a headache.

]

1. Go To Mapquest.com.
2. Click on Directions
3. Enter your Current Address and the Address of your Childhood Home (or at least the town if you don't remember the exact address).
4. Put the time and distance in a post like this.
5. Don't forget to repost these directions (not the door to door ones).

2130 Calle De Sebastian Santa Fe, NM 87505 to 27 Nichols St Westminster, MA 01473

Total Est. Time: 33 hours, 53 minutes Total Est. Distance: 2218.68 miles

[	feeling	|	exhausted and sad	]
[	music	|	all our vice - the new amsterdams	]

so here november is. I dont think I like november all that much. fall reminds me of zack, its when I met him and when we were going out, this time of the year just makes me feel so ridiculously lonely.

so here is what I haven been up to, not to jump right into it or anything.
the most major thing that has happened I think was me leaving to go to california to see zack. A few sundays ago, I was talking to zack on the phone and for some time we had been talking about me coming out to see him that weekend. for some reason, I decided to seize the moment, and buy me a plane ticket knowing that my parents would say no, but in my head and heart knowing that I didnt care. worst case scenario, I get kicked out of my house and I need to find somewhere to live. not quite the crisis situation it may have once been for me. so I spent somewhere aorund $376 for a plane ticket on the 21, planning on returning on the 24. this way I would miss no work and no school (except one study hall), hoping that this little fact, as well as the fact that they didnt need to pay for anything would help convince my parentals to say yes. (which of course, they didnt)

basically what happened next was that thursday morning, I caught the shuttle out of santa fe and got on a plane on the 21 and landed in LA a few hours later. the entire weekend was one amazing blur, I dont really feel like going into detail..it was crazy.

due to a series of events, I decide to extend my trip an extra night. (this is the very much shortened version, so some things may not make too much sense, I just dont feel like typing too much or talking about it in general, so deal with it) so on monday my dad called me, just wanting to make sure I was ok...when I ended up talking to him that afternoon I told him my flight landed in albuquerque at 11 15, and asked if he could pick me up at the airport. being the oddly supportive in the weirdest/best ways kind of dad that he is to me, he consented, telling me that he would be there and that it would be good to see me.

leaving was the worst part of the entire weekend, the nice part was not breaking down bawling and crying at the airport, I just felt so  sad and so alone and I missed him as soon as I let go of him as we kissed our last kiss goodbye. I get on my plane and land in albuquerque as planned. my dad was slightly late, but I didnt care. it was actually nice to see him when he got me, he seemed happy that I was ok which was a vibe I usually dont feel from my parents. there was some awkward conversation to begin, but after a while we both just grew silent, both knowing that I was ok physically for the moment, trying not to think about what was going to happen t me when I got home yet knowing it was inevitable. about one-third of the way home, the car started to make this weird clicking noise. potty mouth father dearest seemed to know what was going on, and my heart sank all the way down to my toes. 20 minutes later, we were in the middle of nowhere, between albuquerque and santa fe new mexico (and if you have ever drive 1-25, you know the empty deserted areas of highway that are everywhere, and thats right where we were stuck) as it turns out the oil needed to be changed, and because my dad had thought he was going to be late he didnt take the time to take care of it before he has left my house that night. so here we were, stuck on the side of the highway at midnight on a monday night/tuesday morning, after my dad had come to pick me up at the airport after a trip I had no permission whatsoever to go on..about 45 minutes away from my house.

essentially what happened after cruel cruel karma bit me in the ass, was that my mom picked us up, my dad coasted his car in neutral all the way to this huge casino a few miles down the highway, and we got home safe and sound at around 2 in the morning. my mom and sisters left to go to massachusetts on wednesday morning at 6, so I havent even really seen them since before I left, leaving my fate in this household still quite up in the air. both of my parents are talking to me, quite normally, which is making me feel kind of weird, but I am trying not to think about it at the same time. mom gets back on tuesday, so we shall see. beyond all of this mayhem and crazy running away from home, I feel sad and alone. I feel like I dont belong, but thats for another entry as I am quite tired and trying to get some of my history homework done.

I would love to hear from anyone from home, call me, let me know how you are doing...I miss you all.

goodnight.

[	feeling	|	lonely	]
[	music	|	such great heights - iron and wine	]

I am thinking it's a sign
That the freckles in our eyes
Are mirror images and
When we kiss they're perfectly aligned

And I have to speculate
That God himself did make us into
Corresponding shapes like puzzles pieces
From the clay

True, it may seem like a stretch
But it's thoughts like this
That catch my troubled head
When you're away, when I am missing you to death

When you were out there on the road
For several weeks of shows
And when you scan the radio
I hope this song will guide you home

They will see us waving from such great heights
"Come down now," they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
"Come down now," but we'll stay

I've tried my best to leave
This all on your machine
But the persistent beat
Sounded thin upon listening

That frankly will not fly
You will hear the shrillest highs
And lowest lows with the windows down
When this is guiding you home

They will see us waving from such great heights
"Come down now," they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
"Come down now," but we'll say...

[	feeling	|	ecstatic	]
[	music	|	new slang - the shins	]

IN APPROXIMATELY 3 HOURS I WILL BE LEAVING MY HOUSE TO GO ALBUQUERQUE TO PICK UP THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AT THE AIRPORT!!!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND AM SO RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY THAT HE IS COMING HOME!!!!

I have not felt this happy in like, years. honestly...this is AMAZING...yippee!!!!!! I just needed to exert some of this happiness somewhere, and here it is. god I feel good..

I love you jellybean